Patrioticity

Unsure whether the title of this post is a real word, i will continue regardless. It was St..... erm.... George's day yesterday and, as you can possibly already tell... i'm not at all patriotic. And with good reason in my own opinion, after another ridiculous move by the government was made on Wednesday as the budget was announced.

I was slightly proud, however, when David Cameron made his response - yes, i am a tory :)
The point of this post is, that i am at times overwhelmed with my love of London - in my opinion, the best City in the world.

LDN puts the "city" in "Patriocity" :)

Excitable :)

I am so blessed, especially this week as i am overly excited for all of the following:
the fact that i'm fasting for the first time and it's really making me feel closer to God;
that i'm getting my hair done tonight with Mum;
that it's Easter on Sunday;
THAT I'LL BE AT SPRING HARVEST IN LESS THAN A WEEK!!
and of course that i'm leaving school soon :)

I had a great birthday weekend - meal with my 'lovely family' inc. Lauren and Rudy
on my actual birthday; BBQ at mine on the Friday; Out with Dani, Lukie, Andrew and
Emran on Saturday; then Hillsong on the Sunday with Alice - how great is my life?

The only thing bugging me at the moment is that i REALLY want to download the song:
"We look to Yahweh" but can't seem to find it anywhere :/

GOD IS GOOD :) - Peace (Y) ox

What is the world coming to?

After hearing of another massacre occurring this week in America, which was then closely followed by another three policemen being callously murdered, I wonder simply - when did the cost of a life become so affordable?

Is all of the love and compassion being slowly sucked out of this world that we're living in, as irrefutably pointless killings become more commonplace in the homes of the children of Britain day by day?

And if this is true then not only - as i have been known to say many times previous to this - will we become as equally infamous a "lost generation" as that of the first world war; we will also be a lonely one. I am lucky to have my faith in God, and the comfort and hope that that brings, because without that, it would be extremely easy to argue a pessimistic view of life.

I, as I'm sure many others do, can feel extremely alone in this vastly overpopulated world that we live in. "Why am i not in love?", "does nobody want me?", "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?" are questions that enter my complex mind on a regular basis. I pose a question to the inhabitants of universe: in a world so very full of hatred, will I ever fall in love again?

I shall have to wait and see, and console myself in the meantime with the knowledge that I am loved by a fair few people in my life, and will praise God with all the love I know is present within my heart :)

Heart After Hope

Pain is beautiful in comparison to this.
This familiar sense of nothingness,
Heart, mind and soul engulfed.
Not only unable to feel emotions:
Unwilling to.
Crimson ribbons emblazon wrists,
Exotic bangles on the white palette of emptiness.
Black lines crawl adamantly from eyes,
Eyes encircled, red and blotchy,
Tired of caring.
Tired of crying.
Tired of wanting.
Tired of trying.

Chats :)

Nothing much new to tell really.. Have had a good weekend so far :) Alove was nice on Friday just sitting having chats with the guys and Michelle. Yesterday i gave my oyster form into the post office (finally!), had a nice day at Canary Wharf with my Mum then spent the evening at Constance's house - had a bbq then played a really long game of hide and seek - i think we had more fun than the kids!! Today we've been to church already and are going back tonight for First Sunday which (i hope) will be good.


DOXOLOGY GIG ON THE 12TH!! - UBER EXCITED :)



And the week after this, I'm on a week's fashion course thing at UEL which i'm also looking forward to :)
Then we're out of school for the summer. The sun better start shining because I want to spend long days soaking it up, lying on the grass in various parks with my girls :)
In August we'll be in Spain so it'll be sun, shops, sand and sea for me :D
And then after a long lazy summer which will fly by no doubt, its back to school and i think we only have about nine months left from September. Woohoo :)

And now i have about half an hour to get ready before Lauren gets here.

Haven't..

Written in here for a while. Haven't done a few things for a while if i'm honest. For the last two weeks i've been on work experience. I did my first week in physio therapy and the second in speech and language therapy (both in the NHS). The first week was quite good - the highlight of my week being helping out at a conference that my mum had organised. Apart from that day though, my first week consisted mainly of observing the physios doing their jobs. The second week however, was much more enjoyable as i had more tasks to do and didn't just feel as if i was wasting my time. I also got a better look at the NHS as i wasn't based in a hospital and got to work directly with patients which was great! I have now finished my history GCSE - which i took in a year - so that's a bit of a relief, my other subjects on the other hand aren't as tied up. I need to complete an English piece of coursework and two pieces for science. I really need to get out of school but still have another year left! Looking forward to the summer and just getting away from it all. I got a kitten last week which was good :) she's extremely cute but won't leave you alone when you're trying to eat. She's into EVERYTHING - i now know why curiosity killed the cat, after her trying to climb into our dishwasher!! She is, right this second attacking a five pence piece. I have now written just over nine thousand words of my possible novel and have decided which course i want to take at university - even if i do have about four years until i go to uni. I definitely want to have a career in fashion so am looking to take a course in fashion promotion and imaging :)
My weekend is set to be exciting, so i'm looking forward to that :)

Unfortunately for me though - after fifteen years of avoiding it - i think i am suffering from hayfever.
I will survive :)
And now i'm about to have a bath. Fun, Fun, Fun :)

The truth - surprisingly - doesn't always hurt.

One of my closest friends spun me a lie the other day that i truly believed. She asked me to call her tonight, so i did. When i was on the phone to her she admitted to me that she'd been lying and apologised over and over. She was crying and was obviously disappointed in herself.

It's strange, because even though I was proud of her when i believed the lie - i wasn't disappointed when I heard the truth.

You'd think that when a person you love tells you the truth and it's something nobody would want to be true that you would be upset with them. But this time - with this person - it was the opposite. I think that maybe the fact that she was so upset with herself made me feel differently than what would be expected.

The truth is; she is what she is. I can't change that. And I don't think I'd want to. I cherish the relationships I've made in my life. I'm not going to let something that is in actual fact nothing to do with me jeopardise that. It's all in the past. All I'm interested in now is the future :)